Proper Q-Grooming

If there's one thing that a lot of people have been talking about on social media as we spend our days in isolation, it's how they are working to keep their hair from becoming an unruly mass. While I have yet to see anyone go full "gecko hair" like the young man to the left, there have been some good hairdressing done along with some questionable haircuts performed if the images are true. What I haven't seen a lot of when it comes to grooming, however, is men's facial hair so it's time to help the lads of the world out with this vitally important guide to proper facial hair. While beards, goatees, and all sorts of facial hair designs can be employed, one has to understand the importance of the Q-stache.

I could tell you about all the newfound power and admiration you'll gain from having a Q-stache, but it's the respect you'll get from colleagues, peers, and family members once this isolation is over that will restore that confidence in one's self. You're a born leader with the Q-stache, so let's take a look at this handy guide on how to produce the best Q-stache on the planet if you're not named Joel Quenneville.



Now you may want to print that out and tape it beside the bathroom mirror or possibly have it handy when someone else is giving you a trim. Pay special attention to the "Building Your Q-Stache" section as there are a number of key tips in there such as "Groom your mustache to resemble a push broom or small comb" as Q-stache form is vital for the power one can derive from the soup strainer on your upper lip.

If you're going for a great isolation look, I highly recommend the Q-stache, men. Ladies, I can't help you with your haircuts in any way and I apologize for that, but just know that there may be men who emerge from this isolation period looking entirely more manly and masculine thanks to the power contained within their newly-found Q-staches.

Until next time, keep your sticks on the ice!

NOTE: HBIC can neither confirm nor deny these statements in any way as this is meant in jest and in humour. Please groom safely and carefully. Read all directions. Consult your barber before starting this program. User experience may vary.