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Sunday, 16 January 2011

Eight More Guardians

There were eight more NHL Guardians unveiled this week as we move closer to the January 30 date of the NHL All-Star Game where you can see all of the Guardians at once. Today's eight Guardians have a heavy animal theme to them, but I'll continue with my looks at each one individually in terms of their looks and who they seem to resemble from the pop culture world. The first seven Guardians were unveiled last week, so that means we'll have half of the NHL teams with respective Guardians at this point. In two more weeks, we'll see the entire roster of all 30 NHL Guardians put forth by Stan Lee and the NHL. Let's take a look at the these eight Guardians as we move forward with this update of the NHL Guardian Project!

We'll start with the Canadien in this update. The Canadien looks like a collage of G.I. Joe's Cobra Commander and Iron Man. I'm not sure how he's a "legendary protector of Quebec" when he's just been created, but we'll go with that explanation. He has the ability of power absorption, so he's Iron Man/Cobra Commander with the power of the X-Men's Rogue. As for the power of magnification, I'm sure the Canadien is used to this living under the microscope on Montreal's hockey world. Also, the Original Six logo used on the Canadien is different than the other Original Six Guardians. Not a fan of that change.

The next Guardian we'll examine is Lightning. The Lightning Guardian has a distinct resemblance with that of the Silver Surfer and has the ability to harness electricity like that of Storm. In fact, goaltender Mike Smith already used this imagery of Storm on a mask of his, so we'll just chalk this Guardian's design up as "continuing the theme". Being that he's Lightning, the control of electricity is pretty much a no-brainer, but that's all he has in terms of powers. That, and surfing on a bolt of electricity. He seems slightly incomplete in terms of powers.

We'll begin to move into the animal Guardians now, but we have a man-imal Guardian first as we take a look at the Canuck. The Canuck looks a lot like Batman in his get-up, but it appears he has multiple dorsal fins. His description of "resident Guardian sage" had me confused because the word "sage" is defined as "having wisdom that comes with age and experience". The NHL Vancouver Canucks began play in 1970, meaning he'd be approximately 40 years old - hardly what I consider a sage by any means. Controlling the element of rain gives him the ability to erode rock and cause mudslides, something of which the Guardians of California may want to be aware. I'm not sure where these sonar blasts are going to come from, but I'm hoping he has a better "weapon" than SOund Navigation And Ranging. All the Canuck can do with those blasts is locate something in the water, and cause pods of whales beach themselves... which probably isn't a good thing for the Orca-Guardian to do.

We begin looking at the real animals of the NHL Guardians at this point, and we'll start with the Capital. The eagle is very close to the airspace of several other Guardians, including the Flyer, so there could be a few conflicts over the cities of the east coast. The telescopic sight is probably important while in the air, but I fail to what good it will do at close range. Like the Canadian, apparently the Capital will need some sort of bi-focals. Being a shape-shifter like the X-Men's Mystique would mean the Capital wouldn't have to be an eagle, but I suppose that's his preferred shape. The sonic scream can probably shatter glass, but I'm not sure the Capital is able to break the rules of physics and direct sound waves at a target with full force.

The next animal-based Guardian is the Bruin. I fully expected this Guardian to be a comic book-style character of the Boston Bruin from the semi-famous commercials, but this Bruin seems a lot meaner. Seeing as how his "intelligence borders on precognition", he should be able to see a future of early tee times in the spring with his Spiderman-like "Bruin-sense". I have yet to see any bear's roar cause actual petrification, although I can understand being petrified if this beast was roaring next to you.

The sixth Guardian seen today is the Wild. He's a "whirling dervish of destruction", not unlike this guy from Saturday morning cartoons. He possesses "celestial incinerators" on his Iron Man-esque hands. That, to me, means that he's a walking, talking fusion reactor because the only celestial incinerator I know of is the sun. And the sun is one giant fusion reactor. Maybe that's why the Wild wears sunglasses?

Following suit in the mean, angry predators is the aptly-named Predator. Is he actually made from titanium as his "Titanium Music City Super Cat" moniker indicates, or is he built like he's made of some sort of strong material like titanium? He has some titanium in him as his claws are titanium, leading me to believe that he's made mostly out of metal, not unlike Wolverine's adamantium skeleton or Colossus' ability to turn to metal. I've never seen a cat or any sort of furry, mammal-like predator spit anything let alone radioactive spit, but being that this Predator is metal, I guess he can do what he likes. I'm not sure what advantage one would have with radioactive spit, but just be sure to decline French kissing this Guardian.

Last in this week's Guardian set is one of the alpha-predators of the world in the Shark. The Shark is a "technological genius" which seems highly unlikely considering his watery lifestyle and how humidity and electronics don't mix. His ability as a "software empath" means that he can basically control any software with his mind whether it be traffic signals, rocket ships, computers, or ATMs. In essence, the Shark can control the world with just his mind. Add in his army of sharks with frickin' laser beams, and this Guardian is virtually invincible. Attack him from the air? He can set off any number of missles to take you down. Attack him from the land? He has a full military arsenal at his disposal. Attack him at sea? Submarines and destroyers may not get you, but the army of sharks will. The Shark might be the Guardian with the most potential, but I'm sure he'll fall short similar to the team that he represents.

There are the next eight Guardians. Again, a bit of a tongue-in-cheek look at them from me, but we need to have a little fun with these characters while we can. I am looking forward to reading the graphic novel that features all 30 NHL Guardians, but at least we can see what each of them looks like before the NHL All-Star Game on January 30.

Until next time, keep your sticks on the ice!

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

these Guardians are so lame. THe only thing that would make them worthwhile is if they could take out bettman.