Friday, 26 August 2016

Beer And Hockey Meet Unconventionally

I'll admit that I don't read the newspaper as often as I should, but I always find a way to flip through the local newspaper when I'm out on the road. There are great stories from around the local area that are contained on the newsprint, but one of the sections I always read is the crime report. It's a fascinating look at what crime is like in small towns as compared to larger centers, but the crime we're going to focus on today is one that I haven't seen in all my time of reading these reports. And yes, it has a very distinct hockey angle that has made the crime a little surreal when you read the report and then watch the video. Yes, video!

The picture of the newspaper article above is from Russell, Manitoba where it seem a rather odd crime took place on August 15 at 2:45am. The following is the report filed in the newspaper word for word. Absorb this, readers, because the video that follows will bring these words to life!
A break-in occurred again at the Russell C-Store Beer Vendor. The video surveillance caught a man entering the store wearing a ball cap and his face covered. Shortly after... a goalie, yes a goalie, entered the store to assist the first man in carrying away several cases of beer. He was described as having a medium build, wearing goalie pads, blocker and trapper, and carrying a goalie stick. He was ready to play. Too bad there weren't any refs, as they would have thrown this thieving goalie in the penalty box for a while! The RCMP have never seen a disguise like this before! Police are reviewing surveillance and investigations are ongoing.
Yes, the RCMP have never seen a disguise like this before in a robbery for a few cases of beer. That's the take-away from this crime, I guess. I appreciate that the investigation is ongoing, but I commend the writer who had the task of writing the crime report in his or her efforts to have some fun with this story. It almost sounds like this might be an April Fool's prank with how they focused entirely on the goaltending burglar and not the guy in the ball cap!

You might be chuckling to yourself about this report. I'd imagine you have a picture in your head of what this particular crime may have looked like with a goalie involved. Conjure those images no more, folks, as we have video of the crime happening thanks to Manitoba's RCMP being media savvy! Without further adieu, here is the video from August 15th that features your show-stealing goaltender!
You'll notice the timestamp is actually an hour later than what the newspaper report stated, but how about that goaltender? He's agile as he goes through the broken window without wrecking his jersey or gear nor getting a scratch on him. He has great hands as he hauls two cases of beer out of the store while still carrying his goal stick. He appears to be somewhat athletic as he streaks across the parking lot area, but it appears he could work on that footspeed a little.

What makes this video even better is the description that the RCMP threw up on YouTube with the video. It reads as follows,
On August 15th at 3:38 a.m., a break-in occurred at a beer store vendor in Russell, Manitoba. Video surveillance caught two men entering the store and stealing cases of beer.

The first man was wearing mitts/gloves, a large coat, ball cap and had his face covered.

The second suspect that followed was dressed as a goalie.

However, he may have been a defenceman or forward in disguise as he was wearing jersey #17 – a non-traditional number for goalies.

He is described as having a medium build, wearing a blocker, trapper and carrying a goalie stick.

Anyone with information about this theft or has played against a goalie matching this description is asked to call Russell RCMP.
I love the line of "he may have been a defenceman or forward in disguise" due to him wearing #17. That's priceless! The Russell detachment of the RCMP may unintentionally be one of the funniest hockey writers in the game today!

Look, all jokes aside, this is a crime and these two buffoons certainly should be prosecuted for their criminal activities. If you happen to know of or recognize either of these men, please contact the Russell RCMP detachment at 204-773-3051. The owner of the convenience store/beer vendor probably would like this matter resolved.

In the meantime, enjoy the video above as we discover a new definition for the oft-used goaltending term of "highway robbery"!

Until next time, keep your sticks on the ice!

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