Another Event I Won't Watch

Honestly, I haven't cared about any All-Star Game, let alone the NHL All-Star Game, in years. I have one NHL All-Star Game jersey, but it's the old Western Conference star design jersey from the 1990s which is when I likely last watched an NHL All-Game from start to finish. I'll give the NHL credit in trying to re-invent its All-Star Game over and over and over again, but there's not a lot of credit to be earned there if the end result is still failure. That being said, it seems like the 2024 NHL All-Star Game is headed for failure once again based on the jerseys designed by an apparent fashion brand.

The NHL confirmed that the jerseys seen below are what will be worn in Toronto on February 3, 2024 when some of the best players in the league plus a handful of players less deserving to be there who were voted in by fans take the ice. Breathe this disaster in, folks.

According to the NHL, these minor-league jerseys "were designed in collaboration with drew house, the fashion brand co-founded by global superstar Justin Bieber" which only furthers my belief that Justin Bieber should be banned from designing anything for hockey. The NHL continued by adding that the "collection distinctively features four versions of the jersey (one for each All-Star team) in vibrant colors – blue, red, yellow, and white. The collection brings a culturally-relevant streetwear collaboration to the NHL All-Star Game while respecting the invaluable tradition of each individual NHL team through the incorporation of a team shoulder patch."

What you just read is the equivalent to marketing vomit - it's just a jumble of words that tries to play up the NHL's relevance. The NHL doesn't need "a culturally-relevant streetwear collaboration" when it has timeless jersey designs already that stand on their own merits, and "respecting the invaluable tradition" of having the player's team logo on the shoulder only became a tradition when the NHL introduced it in 1996. Some will say, "Teebz, the NHL Uniforms site says it started in 1994," but that's an error as both teams wore the NHL All-Star logo on their shoulders in 1994 while 1995's game was cancelled due to the lockout.

The NHL All-Star Game is supposed to be where the best play the best in a showdown to determine which division or conference is tops in the NHL, and one would expect that the NHL would outfit the teams so they look immaculate. The NHL used to look fantastic in white-vs-orange in the 1980s, and even better in the early 1990s when they went white-vs-black. Their anniversary game in 1992 was near perfection, and the star-design jerseys seen through the latter half of the 1990s are the standard to which all other NHL All-Star Game jerseys should be compared.

Starting in 2000 in Toronto with its four different jerseys, the NHL lost its way. The 2004 NHL All-Star Game was the last time it felt like the NHL gave a damn about what the league looks like on the ice as a product, and this year's jerseys certainly aren't giving it any "street cred" or whatever term you want to use when compared to 2004, the 1990s, or anything from before 1995's cancelled game.

The NHL needs to stop trying to pass itself off as cool and urban because they come across as Dr. Evil trying to be "with it" and "hip". To whose culture are the relevant? The game is still being played by mostly white people who often live in suburbs and communities with gates, and those same people are the people sitting in NHL arenas. The costs of the jerseys they're trying to market are the same price as a grocery bill for a middle-class family, so how are these "streetwear"? Let's not forget that the NHL All-Star Game is a corporate event for the NHL more than it is a fan event so forgive me for my views, but it's extremely hard to be anything but cynical.

I'll be watching something else on February 3, and I feel like that could be easily changed by simply dressing the players like professional rather than letting Justin Bieber dress them like clowns. You may disagree with me and that's why the comments are open, but it's hard to take the NHL All-Star Game seriously when it looks like a six year-old designed their uniforms.

Until next time, keep your sticks on the ice!