Hockey Headlines

Wednesday, 21 May 2008

Time For A Rant

You know, I sit here in front of this monitor with some ideas regarding what I want to write about regarding the world hockey. Rarely do I let off a little steam towards some of the more ridiculous garbage I see that brings this game down a level or three. No, I'm not talking about the stuff on the ice, although I still think Jonathan Roy needs his clock cleaned. No, I'm talking about some of the stuff off of it. That includes a lot of people: fans, journalists, television media, bloggers, and so on.

So why am I doing this? This is hockey's biggest time right now. There are absolutely spectacular games being played in the NHL, AHL, ECHL, and Memorial Cup, yet we're forced to swallow some of the most idiotic things to ever be written or said.

Focus on what matters, people. That's the game of hockey. Or, rather, the games you're missing while putting out this trash. Let's get started.

  • Bandwagon riders. If you have decided that there's no point in watching hockey since your team was eliminated from the playoffs, you are officially not a hockey fan. You're nothing more than a casual bandwagon rider, and you should be shot if you call yourself a hockey fan. I'll provide the bullet. You'll pull the trigger. This goes for everyone. In fact, if newspapers and television journalists are supposed to be following leagues such as the AHL and ECHL, why isn't there the same amount of coverage of those leagues in those respective media after the local team has been eliminated? I've never understood this.

  • Puckbunnies. You know who you are. You're the girl who sends gifts and crap to the players. You send them birthday wishes even though they couldn't identify you in a police lineup. You talk to hockey players like they've been part of your posse for years. You think you have some sort of deep-seeded bond with people who want nothing more than to have you as far away as possible. You scare hockey players. They fear you. Why? Because they think you are deranged. And guess what? You probably are.

  • People who get paid to be journalists, but don't know anything about the sport. If you're paid to be a beat reporter, that's fine and dandy. The least you could do is learn a little about the sport before publishing anything about it. Pittsburgh won the Stanley Cup in 1992, while the Rangers and Canucks squared off in 1994. Nice reporting, jerks. I'm sure that "point-spreads.com" isn't mainstream, but get your facts straight. However, what makes your little website look like a third-grader's blog is when you repeat the same mistake over and over and over again. Hey, CBS, you made the same mistake THREE TIMES when describing THE PICTURE OF CROSBY. How about you actually look at the picture next time instead of making stuff up? Thanks.

  • Experience. Yes, it makes a huge difference when you're going into your first playoff series ever. Take a look at Pittsburgh last year, or Washington this year. Lots of young guys, and they took early exits. However, if you're going to get on TV and yap about how the Wings are far more experienced than the Penguins because "they've been there before", it's time for you to shut your trap. The Wings have nine guys with Stanley Cup rings, and the Penguins have three guys. However, this series is no different than the one before. You lose four games, and you're done. Simple as that. No experience is necessary because both teams have already won 12 games and three rounds! Just win four games before your opponent does. Nothing has changed! Stop saying it has!

  • John Buccigross. Your "hockey insight" is only slightly better than the book you penned, which isn't saying much because the book was terrible. In fact, Jonesy would be better served as a way to start a fire than as reading material. The fact that you work a plug for it in every single column makes me nearly as sick as I was when I read that literary disaster. However, I digress. The real reasons I dislike you are because your taste in music is equivalent to the taste of bile, and the number of stupid things you say in your columns makes me realize that the NHL is better off not having ESPN cover it. Keith Jones is a stand-up guy, and I appreciate his insights when he's on TSN. You, Mr. Buccigross, are the definition of why ESPN isn't needed in the NHL.


Ok, I think that might be all for today. I feel a little better getting some of that off my chest. The PLAYOFF LINE POOL is almost over, and Mr. St. Louis is way out in front thanks to Mr. Marc-Andre Fleury. Lots more hockey stuff coming up this week, so stay tuned!

Until next time, keep your sticks on the ice!

1 comment:

k.m.stiles said...

Nice rant. I agree with all of your points. I stopped reading Bucci's column because I always felt so angry and annoyed after reading it. I have been tempted to read the book but I think you convinced me to pass.