Hockey Headlines

Thursday, 5 February 2009

Shock Value TV

I was going to title this entry as "Death of a Hockey Sportscaster", but I thought that might carry some sort of legal problem for me, so I opted for a lesser offensive title. However, it's rant time for Teebz on today's episode. I thought the purpose of a colour commentator in sports was to provide interesting analysis and purposeful interjections to a broadcast, yet the NHL is riddled with people who have no clue how to do this kind of job. Mike Milbury is a complete joke. Pierre McGuire is an embarrassment. I'm almost convinced Harry Neale falls asleep in the booth and has to be nudged awake only to go off on some tangent that has nothing to do with hockey. With people like this giving us analysis on the game, is it any wonder why hockey doesn't catch on in the United States?


Crapitals? Wow. Read the teleprompter, Mr. Milbury.


Capitals fans deserve a pat on the back for their hatred.


Pierre McGuire gets bored at the World Championships and wants to see Winnipeg and Quebec City get NHL teams. Hey, Pierre, isn't there a game being played right now?


I'm pretty certain I'm dumber for listening to McGuire's "expert opinion" on what a kicking motion is. "I am confused, I am befuddled..."


Harry Neale gives us the technical term for a poorly-performed backhanded shot by Alexei Zhamnov. Broadcasting schools everywhere should take note.


There's a reason why Harry Neale isn't working as often on the CBC.

"Mad" Mike Milbury was shuffled off TSN. Perhaps they realized that McGuire and Milbury together in the same room has the effect as a concussion for viewers. That, or someone's head exploded in the studio.

And Pierre McGuire is still on his perch at TSN. I don't know how Gord Miller puts up with some of his comments. His chatter at this past year's World Junior Championships about John Tavares' "magical mittens" would have got him a punch to the chops from me. Yes, Tavares has great hands, but "magical mittens"?

Look, I'm no colour commentating genius or anything. It happens in every sport. But when guys like this start rambling on incoherently, it turns the casual viewer off because they have no idea what these men are talking about. Which is exactly the opposite of what an analyst should be.

If there's one bonus, PJ Stock tried to help the viewers out last Saturday when he posted Milbury's cell phone number up on the wall behind him while on air.

Don't call it, people.

Until next time, keep your sticks on the ice!

3 comments:

Tony said...

You know, for someone that was raised on Mike Lange's announcing, I have to agree with you. The NBC broadcasts are always lame as they get, and no wonder nobody watches hockey in the US.

Mike Milbury. Matt Millen. Maybe its the initials. :)

Whats with the car in the corner of the boards in the WJC clip?!?! Those are good seats!!!

**Maybe Pierre should watch some more soccer. He could announce it too, since nobody watches that either :)

Tony said...

Come to think of it...I've had this argument with folks before.

Is it "half assed" or "half-asked"?

Woopop said...

Harry Neale isn't on CBC anymore because he's doing the Sabres color now, not the Leafs, thus he's not on Hockey Night In Toronto anymore.

Oh, that, and he's old and slow.

Most of us in Buffalo miss Jim Lorentz dearly, as he would actually provide analysis, not just read stuff off the stat sheet.

No mention of Jack Edwards going into Hysteria every time the Bruins even sniff the puck? :)