Hockey Headlines

Friday, 18 December 2009

Letters To Santa

I thought it might be some fun to take a look at what some NHL teams are asking Santa for as we approach Christmas. I will say this: I am not an elf, nor do I work in the post office at the North Pole. This is simply a random selection of things found on letters that have somehow reached my desk. Each NHL team will have one item picked out of their letters to ol' Saint Nick, and we'll see if they get what they asked for when 2010 starts. This isn't any sort of prediction or prognostication, but instead more of a wish list for NHL teams. Here we go.

Anaheim Ducks: Can someone bring back the Jean-Sebastien Giguere I used to have here? This one is all broken and doesn't work. - Randy C.
Atlanta Thrashers: Besides Kovalchuk, who else plays on this team? Can someone get me a phoentic roster? KOO-bee-nah? - attendee at Philips Arena
Boston Bruins: All I want is some consistency from my team, Santa. And I've been good this year. - Claude J.
Buffalo Sabres: For the love of all things good, please don't let Miller start in the Olympics! - Lindy R. & Darcy R.
Calgary Flames: Can we not find a back-up goaltender anywhere on the planet? What happened to this kid? I thought we drafted him. He's just as good as I am! - Miikka K.
Carolina Hurricanes: Can I get a do-over for the season thus far? Does anyone need a broken-down "Rod the bod"? I'll pay you to take him. - Jim R.
Chicago Blackhawks: I just want the Stanley Cup. Stop toying with me, dammit! - Marian H.
Colorado Avalanche: I think "peace on Earth" and "goodwill towards all" should just about cover it. Otherwise, things are great here in Denver. - Greg S.
Columbus Blue Jackets: Is there anyone besides Nash who can score? Is there anyone who understands my defensive schemes? Someone get me a Twinkie. - Ken H.
Dallas Stars: I know he's getting up in age, but please let Mike Modano play well enough for him to captain the US Olympic team. And please let Brendan Morrow stay healthy. Thanks! - Marc C.
Detroit Red Wings: Is there anyone left in Grand Rapids? How many injuries do I have to endure this season? I may have to ask Mr. Ilitch about selling another soul in exchange for success and a Stanley Cup. - Mike B.
Edmonton Oilers: Where do I start? Maturity would be nice. The ability to play 60 minutes. Leadership. This is going to be a long list. Can I just go back to coaching the World Junior team? - Pat Q.
Florida Panthers: I'd like someone to answer that damned phone. It's been ringing since November 30, and I can't find it. - Tomas V.
Los Angeles Kings: I'd like no more injuries. I'd also like Anze Kopitar to start scoring again. And I'd love it if the Kings became more popular than the Lakers. You can do that, right? Also, please let the Thrashers or Predators move to Kansas City. My building needs a tenant. - Philip A.
Minnesota Wild: Fire-resistant equipment. That's all we need. Or new stuff because of the fire. Actually new equipment would be better. And has anyone seen Martin Havlat? - Todd R.
Montreal Canadiens: I know it's clichéd, but the Canadiens could really use a championship. Or someone gullible enough to take Scott Gomez's salary off our hands. - Bob G.
Nashville Predators: I've been begging for your help with the Red Wings, and it seems you finally came through. Our agreement on double the amount of cookies will be honoured. Unless I get hungry. Thanks, Big Guy! - Barry T.
New Jersey Devils: I'd like to shutout everyone for the rest of the season. And I'd like to win another gold medal to go with my 2002 Olympic gold medal. And I'd like to win another Stanley Cup. And I'd like Lou Lamoriello to take that shrine of me out of his office. Thanks. - Martin B.
New York Islanders: I need a De Lorean like that Marty McFly kid has. Something tells me that this DiPietro contract I negotiated might have been a mistake. - Garth S.
New York Rangers: Santa, I'm tired of this "one night per year" crap. What do you think you need to do: Play %#(!&@ harder. It’s simply unacceptable. - John T.
Ottawa Senators: Santa, can you find me a winger that can score like my buddy Dany used to? I haven't had to score a lot of goals, and I may have forgotten how to do it. Thanks! - Jason S.
Philadelphia Flyers: A winning streak. That's all I want. And maybe some quality goaltending. And some scoring. And some solid defensive play. This is like coaching an expansion team. - Peter L.
Phoenix Coyotes: Fans. All we want are fans. Bring your elves, Santa! The Coyotes franchise is stable, and will be a part of the Glendale community for as long as I'm around. Honest! - Gary B.
Pittsburgh Penguins: Things are pretty good in my world, Santa. Another championship would be nice. And less Max Talbot commercials would be great! - Sidney C.
San Jose Sharks: A first-round playoff victory, followed by three more series wins. And no playoff games against the Red Wings. And no injuries to key players. That's not too hard, is it? - Todd M.
St. Louis Blues: I've only scored two goals in my career, Santa, yet I keep finding myself in the line-up. I really want to become the power forward that I think I am. Please bring me a new hockey stick. You rock! - Cam J.
Tampa Bay Lightning: I've lost my mojo, Santa. And I can't seem to find it. If you can bring me some, I'll take whatever you got. - Vincent L.
Toronto Maple Leafs: Did you come early this year? Vesa has found his game, he's playing great and he's a big reason why we've got ourselves back to within a couple of games of .500. Thanks for that. I haven't had quality goaltending in this city yet. - Ron W.
Vancouver Canucks: Santa, can you bring me secondary scoring? Lots of it? And if you can locate Kyle Wellwood for me, please ask him to report to my office. - Alain V.
Washington Capitals: I thought we were going to be a good team, a playoff team, but you never expect to be first overall at any point a week before Christmas. I didn't anyway. In any case, I'll take less cheap hits and sucker-punches on my players this Christmas. - Bruce B.

So there's some fun for a Friday. I have a ridiculously busy day tomorrow, so I won't be around much. Have a good one! We're less than a week from Christmas Day!

Until next time, keep your sticks on the ice!

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