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Thursday, 22 March 2007

You're Wearing That? - The Sequel

Since the first version of You're Wearing That? was so popular, I decided to go on a hunt for more astoundingly painful jerseys to discuss. Honestly, it must be a minor-pro hockey thing to make one's jersey hideously ugly compared to another team. In the last examination, it was painfully obvious that some teams have no eye for fashion or style or any compassion for those that suffer seizures, considering some the of the designs that were rolled out. The NHL only had a few themed jerseys, worn by the San Jose Sharks in practice, and auctioned them off later to raise money for charities. The minor-pro teams also auction off their jerseys, but it must be embarrassing for teams to hand over a handful of change they raised during their efforts. It causes shame, as seen in the picture above.

In any case, here are more of the nausea-inducing jerseys. Enjoy!

- The Adirondack IceHawks of the UHL celebrated Christmas in 1999-00 by wearing this jersey. Not bad, but not all that great either. However, it appears their marketing department went on holidays during the 2000-01 season because they celebrated New Year's by wearing these jerseys. That's New Year's? What kind of party looks like that? Oh right, a bad one.

- The Austin IceBats of the Central Hockey League decided they wanted to honour America with a jersey. I don't know about you, but that might be a better Halloween jersey with that scary bat taking up most of the jersey front. Simply terrible.

- I've seen teams wear sponsor patches on their jerseys. However, the Cincinnati Cyclones of the ECHL took it a step too far when they wore a McDonald's-themed jersey. I'm not lovin' it, Cincy.

- The Hershey Bears of the AHL have worn several themed jerseys. They celebrated Halloween in 2004-05 with a jersey. If you ask me, not very Halloween-ish compared to some of the teams I've seen. However, the Bears came back strong with their New Year's jersey in 2005-06. The back of the jersey used an interesting font. The Bears made a statement at Christmas by wearing this jersey. Thumbs-up to that jersey. And the Bears also wore a jersey to honour America. The back font is a nice touch. The only thing I don't like is how low the sleeve numbers are, but there's normally something flawed on these promotional jerseys as it is. I can live with this one, though.

- The Jacksonville Lizard Kings of the ECHL wore an intersting jersey in 1995-96. The back of the jersey was similar to the front. In 1997-98, the Lizard Kings decided to wear a jersey for Halloween. I believe this is where Cincinnati got the design idea for a McDonald's jersey. I'm not fond of the original logo, but changing the logo to suit the Halloween theme makes it look worse.

- The Laredo Bucks of the Central Hockey League make it back onto this list again, but this time for their New Year's jersey. The Laredo Bucks took a step back with this season's Valentine's Day jersey.

- The Lubbock Cotton Kings of the Central Hockey League make both the good and bad on this list. The bad? These Hawaiian jerseys. Far too busy, and the number on the back of the jersey is hard to read. That ugly nameplate doesn't belong there either. The good? These Halloween jerseys. The back of the jerseys look just as good as the front. My only request is that they remove that eyesore of a patch off the front of the Halloween jersey.

- The Louisiana Ice Gators of the ECHL celebrated their 10th anniversary with a jersey. I've said it before, and I'll say it again: anniversary patch is a yes; anniversary jersey is a no.

- The Las Vegas Wranglers of the ECHL have worn some interesting jerseys. In 2004-05, the Wranglers held "Elvis Night". The rhinestone suits that Elvis wore were bad enough, but these are just as bad. They wore a throwback jersey this past season which somewhat looks like the old Houston Astros jerseys. They also honoured America with a jersey, but I find the Las-Vegas-comma-USA to be quite tacky. Is there another Las Vegas in the world that might confuse us?

- The Quad City Mallards of the United Hockey League have one jersey they wear for warm-ups, and I find it to be hideous. The Mallards also had a Sheriff Night. Why does it feel like I'm watching a cartoon or a video game with those jerseys? Maybe due to their cartoonish design?

- The Mobile Mysticks of the ECHL actually became the Margaritaville Mysticks for one game during the seasons from 1999-2002. They changed their logo to include a parrot, as well as wearing these jerseys. The back of the jersey wasn't much better. They also ran a "Black Out" promotion with these jerseys, but I fail to see what this promotion is trying to promote.

- The Memphis River Kings of the Central Hockey League wore a decent Christmas jersey. It's simple which makes it easy on the eyes, and adding a Santa hat to the logo is a simple, yet effective, design element.

- The Milwaukee Admirals of the AHL make another appearance on this list, thanks in part ot their honouring of Bob Uecker with a jersey. If you stare at them too long, you may go blind. The Admirals' 2007 St. Patrick's Day jersey, however, is pretty good.

- The Orlando Seals of the Atlantic Coast Hockey League wore these Christmas jerseys. They are one of the best promotional jerseys I have seen to date. They are simple and slightly cartoonish, but very suitable for the promotion.

- The Peoria Rivermen of their ECHL days will be remembered for Disco Night. Again, good use of changing the logo to match the promotion, but the jerseys leave something to be desired.

- The Portland Winterhawks of the Western Hockey League in the Canadian junior system designed themselves a 25th anniversary jersey to be worn in 2000-01. Seriously, what's with all the feathers? I have never seen anyone, aboriginal person or not, wear feathers that stand upward. I am praying that the Chicago Blackhawks never see these jerseys. Besides being somewhat offensive, they are boring.

- The Richmond Renegades have worn a number of promotion jerseys. They celebrated Valentine's Day. They wore these jerseys for Christmas in 1999-00. They aren't very Christmassy, if you ask me. They celebrated Halloween with these jerseys in 1999-00. In being a promotional jersey, I appreciate the different pattern on the back to include more elements of the promotion. The Renegades celebrated the season of spring with these jerseys in 1999-00. Flowers aren't very intimidating on a hockey jersey. The Renegades also had a Racing Night. In keeping with hideous jerseys, the Renegades wore an alternate jersey in 1999-00 sponsored by Target. Why is the "R" so huge? Those last three jerseys don't impress me. At all.

- The Rio Grande Valley Killer Bees of the Central Hockey League created a jersey to celebrate the release of Star Wars 3: The Revenge of the Sith. No word on whether George Lucas is a part-owner of the team, or how much of the gate revenue he took from ticket sales to pay for the licensing. The jersey is neat, though.

- The San Antonio Iguanas of the Central Hockey League wore some interesting Halloween jerseys in 1999-00. The only thing that bothered me was the font colour on the back. It's hard to read from a distance. I like these jerseys. They're very different from all the other Halloween ones that have been seen to date.

- The San Diego Gulls of the ECHL had a Molson Canadian Night. This is the first game-used jersey that I have ever seen to promote beer in a professional hockey league. And the first American team to promote something so Canadian.

- The Spokane Chiefs of the Western Hockey League in the Canadian junior system wore special Armed Forces jerseys. The blue camouflage looks alright, but I'm not sold on the red font.

- The NHL's St. Louis Blues were poised to introduce this alternate jersey during the Mike Keenan era. Thankfully, someone killed off this idea before it came to be.

- The Topeka Scarecrows of the Central Hockey League introduced an alternate jersey that might be better suited for a Halloween jersey. The back of the jersey isn't very impressive, though.

- The Tulsa Oilers of the Central Hockey League experimented with pinstripes on their jersey in 1996-97. I find the pinstripes to be distracting from the logo and information on the back of the jersey. Unlike the Yankees, these stripes are very noticeable in their thickness.

- The Tulsa Crude of the United States Hockey League don't have anything wrong with their jerseys. It's the name: Crude. I get the oil part of it, but why "Crude"? That's a terrible name.

- The Wilkes-Barre/Scranton Penguins of the AHL honoured the men and women of the Armed Forces with a military jersey this season. I like the design as it is simple and a good tribute. The Penguins also wore Christmas jerseys in the 2005-06 season. Another simple design by the Penguins, but what's with the number on the left hip? I'm not liking that idea.

- The Youngstown Steelhounds of the Central Hockey League celebrated St. Patrick's Day with these jerseys in 2005-06. The gloves, pants and helmet don't match, but the jersey itself is pretty good, complete with logo additions to reflect the holiday.

Ok, so that's some more jersey that may make you wince or smile. Honestly, they aren't all bad. I'm sure there are more out there, so if you see something you think should be added, put it in the comments section. Until next time, keep your sticks on the ice!

1 comment:

Sage Confucius said...

The Mobile Mysticks 'Black Out' sweater is for Mardi Gras.