Kissinger My Grits

I'll be upfront on this article and tell you that I have nothing good to say about Henry Kissinger except that he passed away at the age of 100 today. Frankly, not only are his politics abhorrent and repugnant despite earning a controversial Nobel Peace Prize, but the former Secretary of State under two Presidents is seen by some as an unpunished war criminal for the chaos he unleashed geopolitically thanks to his aligning with anti-communist dictatorships. How he was awarded the Nobel Peace Prize in 1973 after it was found that the US bombed Cambodia which killed millions is still one of the most inexplicable world events of all-time. However, we're here to talk hockey, not geopolitical upheaval and warmongering, and it seems that The New York Times linked him to a hockey team through a humourous piece they published in 1976.

If your sharp eyes caught the logo I attached to his jacket lapel, that would be the NHL's Detroit Red Wings logo which he's sporting. Back in 1976, it seems the Red Wings had dismissed head coach Doug Barkley, leaving a vacancy on their bench that needed to be filled. That's where writer Gerald Green stepped in, writing a humourous piece about Kissinger's future jobs after his role under Gerald Ford came to an end when Jimmy Carter defeated Ford in the 1976 Presidential election.

Let me be clear: this is a satirical piece that Green wrote for The New York Times on April 26, 1977. It should not be taken seriously nor should it be used as a reflection of Kissinger's character when it came to his life and career. In saying that, here are the first few paragraphs of The Indispensible Man, a column written by Green that ran in the April 26, 1977 edition of The New York Times.

"The announcement that Henry Kissinger will coach the Detroit Red Wings hockey team next season came as no surprise to those who know of the former Secretary of State's long‐time interest in ice.

"Although Mr. Kissinger does not know how to skate, he has observed a lot of ice, particularly on visits to the Soviet Union. 'When you get down to basics,' Mr. Kissinger said recently, 'forechecking isn't much different from disarmament.'

The fact that Mr. Kissinger will also be coaching the San Antonio Spurs of the National Basketball Association in autumn does not faze him. 'I believe I can handle both jobs,' he told a sports writer. 'I won't be spreading myself too thin, as some claim, and besides I'm fascinated with basketball. It reminds me of open diplomacy.'"

Of course, Henry Kissinger did NOT coach the Red Wings in the 1976-77 season or any other season for that matter. The only sport he seemed to care for was soccer, and he was actually named as the chairman of the North American Soccer League board of directors in 1978. Because of his obsession for a sport played on grass and not on ice, having Green link him to the Red Wings is clearly satirical and should not be considered fact in any way.

This will be the only mention that Henry Kissinger ever gets on this blog. Had he not been linked to the Red Wings by Gerald Green's satirical column, this article wouldn't even exist. He brought terror and death - both directly and indirectly - to many people in many countries, and he deserves no further recognition for the destructive and devastating plans that were set in motion while he was one of the most powerful men in America. Henry Kissinger is dead tonight, and that's ok with me.

I suspect Red Wings fans and Spurs fans are also ok with that.

Until next time, keep your sticks on the ice!