Friday, 21 August 2015

All About The Beard

The playoff beard. It's a legitimate sign of playoff success in the NHL Playoffs, and it is a tradition that has taken on legendary status. From Mike Commodore to Brent Burns to the pictured Scott Hartnell, those with a significant and thick growth are generally given a ton of respect for their commitment to not shaving and keeping the beard through thick and thin. But what happens when the playoffs are over? Most of those beards are shaved off, so who do these gods of the hirsute turn to in their time of need when that beard needs to be kept clean, well-groomed, and awe-inspiring?

I have heard of a few shaving discount clubs, but Canadians are generally left in the cold. One could use that beard if one is in the cold, but that beard can't be a scraggly-looking, food-wearing hairpiece hanging off one's face. It should be clean, well-kept, and shown the respect it garners from the general public. And one company wants to help you do that!
I'll admit that I've never used Dollar Beard Club. Heck, I've only ever heard of Dollar Shave Club which promises to send customers inexpensive, quality razors at wholesale prices. It appears that Dollar Beard Club is the bizarro-world version of Dollar Shave Club because they promise, as seen in the awesome video above, grooming products for your phenomenal mane!

I love that they filmed this commercial in a hockey rink. Chris, the owner of Dollar Beard Club, jerseys the shaving player in the locker room, bites the razor blade off the razor he is using to de-beard himself, and spits it out is pure awesome. Chris shotguns a beer. Chris poses beside a real lion. Chris tees up a puck at a stack of shaving cream cans, and it should be noted that Chris can skate pretty well! In short, Chris hits all the marks when it comes to pushing the hockey life of bearded Canadians!

I can't speak for the quality of the products that Dollar Beard Club sends. I can't speak for company nor was I asked to endorse them. I happened across this commercial on Facebook on Wednesday, and I found myself chuckling at the message it conveyed. I just know that their commercials are pretty over-the-top and funny. Just as a heads-up, the commercial below does have some choice language, so viewer discretion is advised!
If you want to ride motorcycles, live in a box full of women, and dominate your hockey league, having a beard probably won't get you any further ahead of where you are now. But if you want a solid, clean, manly-looking beard, it might be in your best interest to give Dollar Beard Club a shot. They seem to be pretty pumped about their products!

Until next time, keep your sticks on the ice!


Anonymous said...

87% of players who sport a beard during the playoffs are losers and never win the cup.. why not find a superstition that works.. you have an 87% chance of losing the Stanley Cup when you wear a beard.. hockey players are not too swift but hasn't anyone thought of that when year after year teams say to themselves - well that superstition was worthless'

Teebz said...

The length and fullness of the beard indicates how long you've been playing in the playoffs. The more you win, the longer and fuller it gets. It has nothing to do with winning directly other than showing how long you've been playing.

If you shave it, you're inviting a loss.