Un-Belieb-able

I think it's pretty clear that Justin Bieber is a hockey fan based on how many jerseys he's been given as he criss-crosses the globe for his musical career. I'm not one to rain on a guy's parade since he's clearly loved by millions, but there's a reason why hockey fans aren't designing NHL jerseys. In fact, there are many reasons. Bieber might be able to write a song, but his design skills for hockey jerseys should be limited to fantasy hockey teams and nothing more.

Introduced to the world today, the Toronto Maple Leafs announced that they would wear new jerseys designed by Justin Bieber, his fashion brand, Drew House, and adidas in a game against the New Jersey Devils on Wednesday that is the Leafs' NextGen game, an event that will see family-friendly programming that features youth participating in various areas of the game's operation, including team introductions, entertainment, and broadcast roles. What will they be wearing, you ask? Would it interest you if I told you it's reversible?

I don't know how many times I have to stress how much I dislike black jerseys, but let me restate my feelings in GIF form once more.

I don't know why people think black clothing is cool. It's not. No one sat around in high school wishing they were as popular as the goth and emo kids. You know what colour most people wear to funerals is? If you said black, you'd be right. And since we're on the topic if black clothes, no one is donning a tuxedo or a little black dress in the fashion house known as the Air Canada Centre. Black as the primary colour? Dumb. Always. Unless you're Boston or Pittsburgh.

According to the report filed by Sportsnet, "[t]he logo on the black and blue side of the jersey stems from Shibori, a Japanese tie-dying technique that produces different patterns on a fabric, and the Toronto skyline can be seen in both the arms of the sweater and the uniform's socks". While all of these design elements might be visible up close, can you see it in the image above? If you can't, that's a design failure, making it dumb.

The jersey, when folded inside out, is reversible with "a gold trim set against a black backing, with an amalgam of the brand’s signature smiley face and the team's logo in the centre". Considering that these jerseys will be worn on Wednesday night only, the idea of making the jersey reversible is dumb based on the fact that no one will ever see the reversible side in action. Also dumb is the fact that the name and numbers on the jersey will be backwards when inside-out. Doubling-down on dumb is pretty impressive.

"We are excited to be able to take Next Gen to another level with this special uniform designed with our next generation in mind," Maple Leafs president Brendan Shanahan said with a straight face. "The opportunity to collaborate with Justin and drew house to create such a unique alternate sweater will make it even more special for our fans and the team."

Shanahan needs to stop jargoning up this garbage and just call it what it is: a fashion jersey. It shouldn't be worn on the ice, but I can swallow my hatred for one game in the vein of a special promotion. If there are any other games where this is worn, we riot. Not joking.

"My love for the Maple Leafs has always been a big part of who I am, and my passion for the team, and the passion of millions of fans, is stitched into this Next Gen sweater," the Canadian singer said in a statement. "I'm grateful to the Leafs for the chance to team up again to create something so authentic for the team and its fans."

For the love of all the good things in hockey, stop with the black jerseys. Stop with the design element no one can see unless they're standing beside the jersey. And stop with this reversible fashion jersey garbage. Enjoy the promotional event on Wednesday, but enough with the black jerseys in hockey.

Until next time, keep your sticks on the ice!