Saturday, 10 January 2015

That's A Clown Costume, Bro

I know Bryce Harper doesn't play hockey, but what the heck is that garbage seen above? Microchips and technology aside, there has been a distinct move in the NHL to go back to traditional jerseys with proper striping and fits, and then the NHL has to go and do something like what you're looking at. I get that we can't hold onto wooden sticks and Jofa helmets from days of past, but the look of hockey tried to leap forward once this millenium before fan outrage brought back some sensibility.

Following how NHL All-Star Game jerseys are trending, the next thing the NHL will try to do is replicate the uniforms of Rollerball. And no offence to whoever came up with this design, but I'd take Rollerball over these clown costumes. There is so much to hate on these uniforms that I find it hard that the NHL won't take a page out of MLB's book and just let the players where their home and road uniforms. Wouldn't that be so much better since the fantasy draft removes any purpose to having two conferences? Perhaps I am speculating too much. Let's break down these uniforms, shall we?

I have no idea what is happening under the arms with the stripe pattern. It just randomly starts from the armpit and heads south to the forearm. Is it there to track sweat from the armpit? Is the NHL trying to score some sort of deodorant sponsorship? STUPID.

The "All-Star" patch or whatever on the shoulder is beyond dumb. There is no NHL team that wears anything like this jersey, so what's the point of plastering "All-Star" on the left shoulder? STUPID.

What is with the color scheme? Isn't this game being played in Columbus? Why aren't we using Columbus colors for the jerseys? Is anything sacred anymore? STUPID.

Enough with the freaking chroming of the chest logos! STUPID.

I hate to say it, but the NHL is making its once-marquee event a complete disaster to the point that the only relevance it has on the sporting world is how much the NHL gets made fun of for their uniform choice. The NHL All-Star Game was falling into irrelevant status long before these new uniform designs came out, but these uniforms are doing the opposite of having people talk about them. Normally, you want positive reactions. These uniforms have gotten nothing but negative reviews.

And you can count me as one of those who think they are STUPID.

Until next time, keep your sticks on the ice!

1 comment:

Will S said...

If you scratch the front crest and uncover three motocross dirt bikes do you win a free monster drink?

Thanks mentioning Rollerball. I very rarely see any references to that movie anywhere.

Though I rarely try my hand at concepts (mainly due to lack of good ideas, skill, and patience), I once made up a Rollerball hockey jersey concept - combining a few aspects from the original movie (Houston energy logo on shoulder, fan's and coach's t-shirts, etc.)
It ain't much but I think it's better than the current NHL all stars jerseys:

Also made a Rollerball style poster for the annual ball hockey game I play in: